I’ve had a number of people ask me why don’t I write more about my childhood or even my kid’s childhood and I don’t always know how to answer them. There are times when I really do enjoy looking back and have written several posts about what it was like when I was a little girl, young girl or when my kids were little. It was fun, but the truth is I don’t really have that much interest in what happened “then” as I do what is happening “now”. I have always loved “today” and the challenge to make certain that it will be one of those days that you will enjoy looking back on – a little further down the line.
There are a lot of things in the “now” that I’m not wild about, such as our economy, the disarray – for want of a better word – that our country is in, the war in Iraq, the price of food, gasoline, our infrastructure, just to name a few. But I am a firm believer that the state of our own world here and now is ours to live, to change, to share.
It seems to me that as I sit trying to find that whisper of beauty, that flash of excitement that could inspire me to write, to share, that it comes to me in many different forms. Some of them are from yesterday, but my childhood was not that happy most of the time and I don’t find a lot of joy or interest in revisiting very much of it. The memories from the time during my marriage when my kids were growing up are mostly fun – fun to look back on, fun to reflect on, and fun to write about.
But then there is the “now”! I don’t guess anything is totally perfect, but to my way of thinking what I have now is about as close as it gets – at least personally. That doesn’t mean that I don’t complain about the aches and pains that go with being seventy five, and that I don’t rant and rave about the politics, George Bush and Dick Cheney etc. etc. But there is so much more to my life these days than those things. It is the peace, the gratitude and the joy I feel in those quiet moments, of watching a sunset, having a clear night when you can see the moon, the blue sky --precious after weeks of rain and clouds, the beautiful, colorful explosion of flowers and luxuriant plants that are everywhere here in the northwest. The sight of the water and Puget Sound from the seaplane on my birthday. Fixing something special now and then for my son and seeing his face light up with pleasure. Then there's playing with the dogs, always fun. Ah, and then there is the technology! Computers! Blogging! Being able to stay in such close touch with friends and family all across the country! And there is the pleasure of being able to reconnect recently with members of my family that I hadn’t seen or talked to in nearly forty years! Today, the now is a great time to be alive and there is so much to explore, to learn and to write about!
So, yes, I do look back now and then – in fact my next post will be about the summers that me and one of my cousins spent at our grandparent’s house and how much fun it was. But would I trade today for yesterday? My answer is no, it's taken some time, but I've finally learned to find joy in the present moment and feel no need to always be looking backward in time to find pleasure in the past. There were great moments back then, but there are great moments now and there's no reason not to be able to enjoy them both equally.
Wednesday and Exercises
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