Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a
boat and drink beer all day.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause
Some days you are a bug, some days you
are the windshield.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Good judgment comes from bad experience
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and
a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
into jet engines.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your mouth is moving.
Before you criticize someone,
you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticisze them,
you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Experience is something you don't get until
just after you need it.
Don't be irreplaceable;
if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you
aren't getting any.
18 hours ago