"Looking back" seems to be what I've been doing a lot of these days and I think I've finally revisited enough, but it does help to put things in perspective. It's like doing some major house cleaning after which you can sit down and enjoy "today" without those shadows of regrets, guilt and disappointments hiding all that you have, all that you've accomplished and the hopes you have for the future. It's kind of like getting on the scales in the morning and discovering you've lost ten pounds! And it feels good.
Now the question is, okay you've taken care of the past, where do you go from here? what do you have to write about now? I suspect I'll be pondering this for a while. It's not as easy to look forward sometimes at this age because we're still somewhat inclined to think, what can I do now, what's left for me to do or I've already done everything I want to do. Well, those are loser thoughts if I ever heard them and I really don't want to go there. So, as of today, I'm going on a challenge hunt, to see what other mountains I can find to climb, what other rivers and streams of thought I can explore. And even as I write these words, I can feel all the excuse mongers gathering in the back of my mind, flashing all the reasons why I'm obviously losing it or have already lost it and asking, just when do you plan to grow up and accept things as they are?
Mmmmm, probably never.