Now For A Couple of Laughs!

For all of us who are---seniors---for all of you who know seniors---and for all of you who will be seniors. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are!
Speaking of Senior Moments:

WHERE Is My SUNDAY Paper? The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was. Ma'am, said the newspaper employee, today is Saturday .... The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday. There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition.... As she was heard to mutter 'Well shit .. So that's why no one was at church today.'

A stunning senior moment
Apparently, a self-important college freshman attending a recent football
game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him
why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

'You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one',
the student said, loud enough for man of those nearby to hear.
'The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes,
space travel, man walking on the moon. Our space probes have
visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, ships and electric and
hydrogen cars, cell phones , computerswith light-speed processing
...and more.'

After a brief silence, the senior citizen responded as follows:
'You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young......
so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you doing
for the next generation?'

The applause was amazing.......

An add on to "A Giggle"

After my trip yesterday I had one question to add to my earlier post of Giggles.

Where but on a senior trip would they take you on a tour of the cemetery?

That's what they did yesterday on our return trip from the Black Diamond Coal Mine Museum and everyone of those old gals (47 - not counting me and my friend) were all but hanging out the window and even asked if we could stop and look around! But our guide told us we didn't have time, thank goodness! I figured most of them will be there soon enough anyway.

I like to browse them on my own looking for the really old gravestones and the stories they tell. I visited one in Savannah, GA that was fascinating.

As for me, I've told my kids to cremate me and scatter my ashes somewhere that I can grow something besides trouble.

Time for a Giggle or Two

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.'
I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.