Friday, October 3, 2008

Time for a Giggle or Two

As those of you who follow my blog know, I can only deal with politics, Republicans, Wall Street,and the anger and frustration that seem to accompany anything having to do with the afore mentioned for just so long -- particularly since it doesn't appear as if the big picture is going to improve anytime soon. So, I turn to the little humorous truths so frequently sent to me by my 84 year old, good friend Fran, who is sharper and funnier than many and she still follows politics! I need to get her recipe. Maybe we can all start with these.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.. Playing hockey without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Femal e.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female..... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND --

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . ....That's a good idea - you stand by the sink and do the dishes while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

She said... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow

He said . .Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

6 comments:

Deborah Godin said...

Snork!!

patsy said...

true.

pticester said...

Sylvia, thanks for a good laugh tonight. I needed it!

Dogwalkmusings said...

What a wonderful read to close out the week!

Kate said...

Hi Sylvia, This is now 'my' turn to laugh and I have many times at these comments - hehehehe.. Really funny ! have copied a few for my menopause friends.

Cheers, Kate x.

storyteller said...

LOL ... I appreciate these chuckles and thank you for sharing.
Hugs and blessings,