Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Investment Tips For 2008

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros. and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice.

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .

5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. ) Grey Poupon an Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the Nat ional Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally...

9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang


Aleta said...

LOL - and here, I was looking as though, "OK, I need to take notes!" LOL - that was cute!

Darlene said...

Although I have seen this before it is still very funny and we could all use a laugh about the economy right now. Very timely and welcome.

bobbie said...

These are great, Sylvia! Really enjoyed them. I got carried away a bit today with my post. Really corny

Deborah Godin said...

Thank goodness for some humor out of this mess!!